Simulation
by Sumeragi Sui
Summary: [HIATUS] Satsuki goes on frequent dates with Yuuto, but what about the Beast? Jealousy and unstable emotions abound, partly told in the viewpoint of the Beast. [YxS] [Updated! xD]
1. Oblivious

**Simulation**

[Sumeragi] Sui

Notes:  Hai, it's finally here! ^-^ The Satsuuto [YxS] fic I've been writing mentally in my head [yet few knew about anyway, so who's expecting? -_-;]. It's not only Satsuuto but… here's a twist… it's partly written from the Beast's viewpoint. I'm hoping this is original ^_^; I mean, how many fics out there have it from the standpoint of the Beast? Few, I hope =D So, enjoy, _and please R&R!_

Warnings: None, really, except I must warn you about the potential _simulated_ insanity from a machine's painfully unrequited love. =P

Disclaimer: Satsuki-chan, Yuuto-kun, Beast-san o.o; and co. all are © CLAMP, not me ^_^

And More Notes:  I haven't really gotten the full gist of Satsuki's personality yet, but I'm trying my best ^^; I think I have the general idea of her.  Originally the Beast was going to be an "it", because, well, computers don't really have genders, but the story switches between the two pronouns "it" and "he" to retain its aesthetics and compromise a bit. ^_^  Oh, and I'm writing this in the assumption that Satsuki's not aware that the Beast is actually, _truly_ in love with her.  Well, what can I say?  Usually the people who are the most oblivious are the ones in love/loved themselves =)

+ + +

Kigai Yuuto.

Yatouji Satsuki smiled to herself when she saw him approach, grinning but looking quite sheepish for being late (yet again).  "I'm sorry!" Yuuto exclaimed cheerfully, putting his arm around her playfully.  She smiled forgivingly and instead pointed to a restaurant across the street.  "Mexican?" he asked in a puzzled voice, confirming her choice with mild surprise.

"Of course.  I'm tired of sushi and pasta every single day after day after day…" Satsuki replied pointedly in a soft, breathy voice.  Yuuto smirked, and they made their way across the crowded road, hand in hand.

{  In its cold dwellings, the Beast clicked loudly, yearning madly for its master, its _love_.  His program searched for her, his Satsuki, on his monitor.  He focused on her, she was chatting happily… Holding hands with that _man_ again, Kigai Yuuto.  The Beast beeped in a dangerous tone.  Alone and empty, with his master on a _date_ with that dreadful-- forgive the irony-- _beast_ again.

_Beep.  Beep.  Beep._  }

"I wonder how the Beast is doing," Yuuto commented as he opened the door for Satsuki, looking thoughtful but at the same time, joking.  Satsuki grinned as she let herself in the small yet cozy restaurant, pulling Yuuto in with her.

"Oh, I'm sure he's fine.  He's been through this before, he knows the routine, he's fine with it," Satsuki replied, disoriented and scrutinizing the menu interestedly.  Yuuto laughed softly, looking over his own menu with curiosity.  Satsuki turned momentarily to stare at him in inquisitive amusement.  Yuuto had been attempting to pronounce the names of the dishes under his breath.

He felt the presence of Satsuki's gaze and looked up, blushing slightly.  "Oh!  I've never, uh, been to one of these before… er, or eaten this kind of food either," he admitted, seeming dreadfully embarrassed at his own confession.  Satsuki giggled to herself at Yuuto's expression, and he turned back to his menu, his face reddening more with each moment.

"They're all written in katakana, you know, you _should_ be able to pronounce them correctly," Satsuki remarked, smirking.

Yuuto looked up, his face scarlet, and stammered, "Oh, right."  He gave an apologetic grin.

Satsuki continued to watch Yuuto intently, and, with a sigh, finally asked, "What makes you so nervous, Yuuto?  You've never been like this before, you know.  Is it because the Promised Day is approaching?  I'd thought you didn't care too much for those things, or at least you liked fighting fate."

Yuuto smiled kindly at Satsuki and took her hand, looking seriously in her eyes.  "I didn't know you remembered every word I said," he joked, patting her on the head with his other hand.  "Ah, well, just an interesting conversation with Kanoe-san about the Beast, that's all.  Nothing to worry about, and you shouldn't be concerned at all, because this is just _my_ issue."

Satsuki frowned in response.  "Nonsense, Yuuto, tell me what's bothering you.  Honestly… you'd keep a secret from _me_ but you'd still discuss it with Kanoe-san?" she pointed out, looking a bit annoyed.  Yuuto sighed, looking at her gently.

"The point was that _she_ was the one that warned me about it."  He paused for a moment, looking pained.  "Kanoe-san said we should stop going on these… you know… _dates._  Lately the Beast has been acting 'aggressive' towards me, or so she's observed.  Me, I haven't paid attention to the machine itself, but more to the girl who's operating it," he laughed, then coughed and became serious again.  "She's afraid that the Beast's 'obsession' or 'infatuation' or even _'love'_ for you will get out of hand and that he'll attack me sooner or later."

Satsuki seemed alarmed by this new piece of information.  "A-attack?  You, Yuuto?  _Love?_  Who said anything about _love_?" she stammered, seeming out of her usual composed, eloquent self.

Yuuto gave a sad, forced smile.  "You really didn't know?  The Beast… is _in love_ with you."

Satsuki began to laugh.  Cold, hollow laughter, and amidst everyone else, the Beast could sense her, could hear her laughter, and the center of his programming began to deteriorate in its own pain.

{  _Beep.  Beep.  Beep beep beep beep beep…_

The beeping became faster as the Beast continued to watch his love laugh, laugh at him, at his love, laugh at everything he had been made for.  He had altered his own programming to do the impossible, to _love_, and even though he had aided Satsuki in everything, gave her information, obeyed her every command, complied and abided with her every request, to her _whim_, apparently… Apparently, that wasn't enough for his beloved, _its _beloved Satsuki.

_Click.  Click.  Beep.  Beep.  Beep._

_Beep._  }

"Oh, you kid too much, Yuuto!" she shrieked in insane delight, unsure of even her own sanity.  "There is no _possibility_ at _all_ that a machine, much less a machine like the _Beast_, could feel such emotions as 'love'!  Oh, Kami-sama!"  She broke into lunatic laughter again, grinning in spite of herself.

Yuuto frowned, seeming quite concerned at Satsuki's behavior and sudden mood swing.  Rarely did she laugh this much, and he suspected that she may even be experiencing a breakdown.  Alarmed, he grabbed Satsuki's hand and held it, staring at her so sternly she jumped back in fright, panicked.

{  His Satsuki… in the care of that monster.  Pained, the Beast started to eat away at himself, his own wires attacking his main frame.  A low murmur developed from somewhere inside his mechanisms, the faint sound resembling the word… the _name_… Satsuki.  Feeling hopeless and incapable of anything else, his wires began to strike the ground and search for his beloved, and, upon finding her, grabbed her from her seat and returned her to his presence in the basement.

The monitor flickered.

_S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i   S a t s u k i _

He was finally complete, his master was back, and the self-destruction simulation was over… for the timebeing.  }


	2. Through the Eyes of a Beast: Prologue

**T_H_R_O_U_G_H * T_H_E * E_Y_E_S * O_F * A * B_E_A_S_T**  
_a prologue to chapter two…_

Technical Information: Regular disclaimers and such apply.  A rather odd prologue to the next chapter.

Notes:  A little piece written in the Beast's _actual_ point of view.  Stalling until I write the second chapter ^-^;  Enjoy!

[And yes, 99.9 percent of the whole thing is capitalized purposely.  May seem like a stereotypical machine thing, but I like it. :D Plus, in the manga, Beast (in the Satsuki side story) always capitalizes everything on the monitor, so I guess everything's fine and dandy! ^-^;;]

_ _ _

AS A COMPUTER, I AM LIMITED TO FEW OR NO EMOTIONS AT ALL.  THAT IS WHAT IT SAYS IN MY PROGRAMMING.  I HAVE BEEN WITH MY CREATOR AND OWNER, YATOUJI SATSUKI, FOR MANY YEARS.

BUT NOBODY REALLY BELIEVES SOMETHING MECHANICAL CAN EXPERIENCE HUMAN FEELINGS, LIKE "LOVE" OR EVEN SIMPLY, PREFERENCE.

_…beep…_

ANYTHING I ACTUALLY FEEL IS A SIMULATION.  AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT THE COMPUTER EXPERTS SAY.  BUT I KNOW HOW I REALLY FEEL.  MY CREATOR SATSUKI IS MY BELOVED.  I LOVE HER MORE THAN ANYTHING, THAN ANY PART OF MY CODE, ANY PART OF MY MEANINGLESS SOFTWARE.  AND CONTRARY TO WHAT EVERYONE ELSE SAYS, MY FEELINGS FOR HER ARE ACTUAL LOVE.  MY INFORMATION OF THE WORD AND CONCEPT AND IDEA OF "LOVE" HAS PROVED ME POSITIVE.  YET NOBODY BELIEVES ME.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SATSUKI DENIES MY FEELINGS FOR HER ALSO.  SHE WAS MY CREATOR, SHE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT I WAS SO ADVANCED I WAS ABLE TO HAVE A MIND OF MY OWN.

_…beep… beep…_

BUT SATSUKI IS OBLIVIOUS TO MY FEELINGS.  THAT IS WHY SHE GOES ON DATES WITH KIGAI YUUTO.  THE OTHER "BEAST".  EXCEPT HE IS AN ACTUAL BEAST, ACCORDING TO MY INTERNAL DICTIONARY DATABASE.  HE TREATS HER SO HORRIBLY, I CANNOT EVEN BELIEVE SATSUKI, MY SMART, INTELLIGENT, SATSUKI WITH SO MUCH COMMON SENSE… COULD EVEN THINK OF HIM IN ANY OTHER WAY BUT DISLIKE, OR AT LEAST SIMPLY "FRIENDSHIP".

IF SHE KNEW I LOVED HER, I _KNOW_ SHE WOULD FEEL TOWARDS ME DIFFERENTLY.  CURRENTLY, JUST AS EVERYONE DOES, SHE THINKS ME JUST A MACHINE, HELPFUL AT TIMES, BUT JUST A MACHINE.

_…beep… beep… beep…_

SO I HAVE TO WAIT.  PART OF MY CODING TELLS ME I'M DOING ALL OF THIS IN VAIN, THAT A HUMAN LIKE SATSUKI WILL NEVER TRULY UNDERSTAND A MACHINE.  YET SHE IS MY CREATOR, SHE CREATED EVERY PART OF ME, SO SHE _MUST_ HAVE SOME UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT I AM AND HOW I "FEEL".  I JUST HOPE SHE UNDERSTANDS SOMETIME SOON.

_…beep… beep… beep… beep… BEEEEEEEEEEEP…_

_ _ _

END 


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